Jun 02 2009
Lost in Translation

Classified Information

Okay, we know most spammers are rocket scientists, but this one seems to have forgotten something. There is no return address or website in his email. Or maybe, he is psychic, quick stop thinking about your credit card numbers.

Dear Friend,

Esteemed compliments!!

I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this Classified Information that I will release to you. Firstly, I am a happily married man with 3 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.

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May 28 2009
Lost in Translation

Under listed information’s

However, it is my pleasure to not use the $7.6M ATM card as it would increase my tax bracket. Hmm, maybe we should offer a service to these spammers to grammar check their email first? What do you think?

[UPDATE: We are only kidding about the correction service. I received 217 emails within a hour of this post, that were, shall we say a bit angry. BTW, the best way to comment on a posting is to use the “Leave a Comment” link below. Then everyone will see them.]

Attention BeneficiaryThis is to officially inform you that your fund has been duly approved and gazettedfor immediate payment to you via ATM Visa Card. Your Personal Identification Number is 4501.However, it is our pleasure to inform you that your ATM Card Number; 5301 2364 5120 6002 has beenapproved and upgraded in your favor.The ATM Visa Card is Valued at $7.6M you are advised to contact the ATM/Computer Department.Respond immediately with the under listed information’s for clarity and further direction on how to receive your ATM visa card and avoidance of error :FULL NAME, ADDRESS, PHONE NUMBERS, STATE/COUNTRY, OCCUPATION, SEX,AGE,Prompt response recommended for immediate attention.Regards,Mr. Mike Ibru.The Oceanic Bank Plc

Ahora también puedes acceder a tu correo Terra desde el móvil.
Infórmate pinchando aquí. <[Link removed]>

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May 25 2009
Lost in Translation

Beloved Ones

I too “quickly call up a pastor/prophet to give me positive thinking on this solution” and she said “I see a great financial loss in your future, beginning with the $200 you owe me for telling you that you are an idiot!”

Subject: Dear Beloved-One,
From: “Carol Evans Mulla”
Date: Thu, May 21, 2009 5:45 am
To: 

Dear Beloved-One,
 
My name is Carol Evans Mulla am 75yrs old of age, I stay in Queen Elizabeth Hospital NHS Trust Stadium Road Woolwich London SE18 4QH.I am a good merchant, I have several industrial companies and good share in various banks in the world. I spend all my life on investment and co-operate business both is Asia, Europe and America here. All the way I lost my husband and two beautiful children in Plane Crash.
 
I am a very good woman with all cost I don’t know much and care about people, since when I had an experience of my difficulty to sleep and give rest. Ending of last year (September) I was sent a letter of medical check up, as my personal doctor testify that I have a lung cancer, which can easily take off my life soon. I found it uneasy to survive myself, because a lot of my investment can not be run and manage by me again. I quickly call up a pastor/prophet to give me positive thinking on this solution, as my adviser. He ministered to me to share my properties, wealth, to motherless baby/orphanage homes people that need money for survivor, business woman and man for their investment and for future rising.
 
Therefore I am writing this letter to people who are really need of help to contact me urgently. So that I can make available preparation on that. Especially women of the day, who are divorced by their husband, why they cannot survive from feeding their self. Please contact me and stop weeping. Probably let me know what you really need the money for, and if you can still help me to money to nearest orphanages homes near your town. Now am so much with God, am now born again.
 
May the lord bless you, as you reach me, please to remind you don’t belong to scammers or any act of fraudulent act on internet? I will give more information to you as I await your response immediately.
 
Thanks
Carol Evans Mulla

[Submitted by Lauree M]

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May 23 2009
Lost in Translation

Not a Drug Money

What do you mean I am under arrest, she gave me a certificate guaranteeing it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack?

Greeting !!!

This is to bring to your notice that a bank draft of $1,000,000.00 United States Dollars,have been issued in your favour by the World Bank from a random computer e-mail search. I Mrs. Jenny Brown , a worker in the World Bank have deposited the draft with (UPS EXPRESS, NIGERIA), after many e-mails to you which you have not replied.I have travelled out of Nigeria now, I do hope that you will receive this mail and act fast.What you have to do now is to contact the UPS EXPRESS, NIGERIA as soon as possible to know when they will deliver the package to you because of the expiring date. For your information,I have paid for the delivering Charge,Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.You are advice to contact the courier services immediately Again, I would have paid for the Security Keeping fee but they refused because they said they don’t know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.

You have to contact the UPS EXPRESS, NIGERIA now for the delivery of your Bank Draft valued at $1,000,000.00 United States Dollars with this information, All you have to do is contact or furnish UPS EXPRESS NIGERIA with your identification for verification of the details there in their office. Send them the following details with their email there as emailing me back will be impossible.

Names in full

Residential Address….

Country…..

Telephone number,….

Contact Person: Mr. Noyin Efe

Email Address : ups.service.ng@[Domain Removed].com

Telephone Number : +234-806-6[Number Removed]

Contact Mr. Noyin Efe there and know when the Draft will get to your address,Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $999.00 US Dollars Only for their immediate action.You should also let me know through email as soon as you receive your Draft.

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Jenny Brown.

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May 19 2009
Hook, Line and...

Please help the rich!

Even rich criminals need help sometimes, lets join them and commit another crime.

Dear Friend ,

I am Mrs.Ruth Madoff, wife of bernard madoff.

I am actually going through some kind of difficult time with my family right now, as my husband is at the Metropolitan Correctional Center, New York City.

My husband Sentencing is scheduled for June 16, 2009 and he is likely to face a maximum sentence of 150 years in prison and $170 billion in restitution, so there is need for me to move out alot of my personal funds and peronal belongings around the world , particularly  from outside america, but i need somebody to trust now, because i cannot receive funds here in america right now.

I would need your help in acquiring some properties and keeping some large cash amount for me. but first i would  prefer to chat with you either on yahoo chat or Skype. if you are not comfortable with yahoo then write me, so we can communicate via email.

This is very urgent, i would have to entrust a large amount of money into your hands  and some personal valueables. But this would have to be very confidential, just between me and you, because the press are afetr  me and my husband name all over the headlines, because of his Wall street business.

Anyway! don’t be scared about the risk, it is a very safe deal i can assure you of your condidentiality.

Yours Sincerely

Mrs. Ruth Alpern Madoff

Email Contact: ruthmadoff013@[Domain Removed].com

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May 17 2009
Lost in Translation

Toyota Hits Hard Times

It looks like Toyota is so bad off they can’t even hire an editor for their email offers. Now let me see if I can find my Annexation receipts.

Dear Mr/Ms.

Prius Hybrid OFFERS!

Toyota announced today that global cumulative sales of Toyota hybrid vehicles have topped the one million mark, with approximately 1,047,000 units sold worldwide as of 31 May 2007. 
Due to the recent global financial crises, Toyota stuck in stock with 1200 Prius HYBRID cars, because in this stock are cars unsold for over 6 months, TOYOTA launch the Advantage Program where is 30% discount for 1200 Prius HYBRID cars.

The Advantage Program have 5 steps, the first one it is the application form to accept your request.
The second step: An agreement between seller & buyer.
The third step: After the agreement, the buyer need to deposit $5,000 to TOYOTA Dealer Bank Account, necessary for delivery, completion all documents, and submission of a balance of $2,500.
The fourth step: Annexation receipts of the two parties (Buyer: proof payment & Seller: receipt of payment), and completion all contractual documents.
The fifth step : Delivery & buyer signature of delivery.

We offer you the opportunity to purchase a very good Auto with 30% discount.
The payment shall be made in installments through the bank at 1 month after signing the contract. 
If you are interested in this offer please fill out the application contact form, A representative will contact you about this vehicle within five business day if your application will be approve. 

Application Contact Form:

Fullname: ………………………
Billing Address: ………………………
Mobile Phone Number: …………………..
E-mail: ………………….
Your Age: ….

The application contact form will be sent to: [Very Realistic Email Address Removed]

Best Regards,
TOYOTA ASSISTANCE
Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.
19001 South Western Ave.
Dept. WC11
Torrance, CA 90501

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May 14 2009
Hook, Line and..., Too Good

Western Union Refund

It is amazing I keep getting all these refunds for things I never purchased. Must be my Doppelgänger.

 

From: support@westernunion.com

Subject: Western Union Transfer MTCN: 6598390484

Date: May 13, 2009 4:21:35 AM PDT

 

Dear Customer!

The money transfer you have sent on the 11th of March has not been received by the recipient.
According to the Western Union regulation the transfers which are not collected in 30 business days are to be returned to sender.
To collect funds you need to print the invoice attached to this mail and visit the nearest Western Union branch.

Thank you!

[Attachment with Bogus address removed]

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May 13 2009
Hook, Line and...

Another IRS Refund

Notice the bogus domain name in the email address. It isn’t really important, because the form they attached goes to their address in Colorado. If you believe you have received such a message, you can visit the IRS page to report it directly.

From: irs@irs.agencygovernment.gov

Subject: Confidential Information

Date: May 26, 1936 3:00:00 AM PST

Reply-To: no-reply@irs.agencygovernment.gov

This is Francis V. from the Refund Operations Department at Internal Revenue Service

(United States Department of the Treasury).

After the last annual calculation of your fiscal activity we have determined that you
are eligible to receive a tax refund of $184.23.

Please submit the tax refund request and allow us 3-9 days in order to process it.

A refund can be delayed for a variety of reason. For exemple (invalid records or
applying after the deadline).
The good news is that Internal Revenue Service will make this refund directly to your
visa and/or mastercard linked to your checking/savings account instead a check or a direct deposit.

To access the form for your tax refund, please continue to our secure server
attachment form.

Important: Do not use credit and/or american express or discover cards. Only cards that
are linked to your checking/savings account are accepted.

Regards,

Francis V.
Internal Revenue Service – Tax Refund Specialist
[Attachment Removed]

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Apr 27 2009
Lost in Translation

PayPal needs a grammar check.

If you ever get a email message like this, remember to hover over the link before clicking it and make sure it goes to www.paypal.com. This one did not. Although the wonderful grammar should have been a tip off, that this was not legitimate. For more safety tips on how to protect your self at PayPal, please visit the PayPal Safety Center.

Dear PayPal Valued Member,    

Have Noticed That Your PayPal Account Needs To Be Updated, because we have made a new updates on our online service and we lost some information of our customer online Paypal accounts, we are sorry for that but you should update your Paypal accountIn accordance with PayPal’s User Agreement and Privacy Policy, and to ensure that your account has not been compromised yet, access to your account was limited.
Your account access will remains limited until this issue has been resolved.

To secure your account and quickly restore full access on your account, we encourage you to log in and perform the steps necessary to restore your account access as soon as possible by clicking the link below:
Please click here to update your account access
Failure to verify and/or update your personal records, or if you choose to ignore our request, may result in further limitations or eventual account closure.   

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Please understand that this case intended to help protecting you and your account.
We apologize for any inconvenience. 

Sincerely,

PayPal, Inc.
P.O. Box 45950 
Omaha, NE 68145
Copyright © 2007 PayPal Inc. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners. PayPal is located at 2211 N. First St., San Jose, CA 95131.
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Apr 17 2009
Too Good

Single Mighty Pill

I can only imagine  the size of the “Single Mighty Pill”.

I believe “Resveratrol” is what Hollywood executives call their assistants when booking lunches.

WHY GROW OLDER WHEN YOU CAN STAY YOUNGER?

Fight Aging and Protect your health with RezVPlus – try it-FREE!

You don’t have to take aging lying down. Now you can get the most powerful combination of anti-aging compounds from Cacao and Resveratrol in a single mighty pill. Stop aging today!

Try it-FREE!
http://[Domain Removed].com/pkpIBpBtkpttrCuvMprvekICBt

To be removed:

http://[Domain Removed].com/pkpIBpBtkpttrCuvMprvekICBt

Or send a copy of the email to this address:
Optouts, ATTN: 9088, 269 S Beverly Drive, #346, Beverly Hills, CA 90212

This email brought to you by:
Ragnarok Technologies Inc. – 153 Oregon Ave – Medford, NY 11763
Manage Your Account: http://[Domain Removed].com/pkpIBpBtkpttrCuvMprvekICBt

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