Category Archives: Lost in Translation

Jun 02 2009
Lost in Translation

Classified Information

Okay, we know most spammers are rocket scientists, but this one seems to have forgotten something. There is no return address or website in his email. Or maybe, he is psychic, quick stop thinking about your credit card numbers.

Dear Friend,

Esteemed compliments!!

I anticipate that you read this mail quickly and let me know your opinion or willingness on this Classified Information that I will release to you. Firstly, I am a happily married man with 3 kids and therefore I would not want to jeopardize this opportunity to change my financial status that will give my family a secured future.

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May 28 2009
Lost in Translation

Under listed information’s

However, it is my pleasure to not use the $7.6M ATM card as it would increase my tax bracket. Hmm, maybe we should offer a service to these spammers to grammar check their email first? What do you think?

[UPDATE: We are only kidding about the correction service. I received 217 emails within a hour of this post, that were, shall we say a bit angry. BTW, the best way to comment on a posting is to use the “Leave a Comment” link below. Then everyone will see them.]

Attention BeneficiaryThis is to officially inform you that your fund has been duly approved and gazettedfor immediate payment to you via ATM Visa Card. Your Personal Identification Number is 4501.However, it is our pleasure to inform you that your ATM Card Number; 5301 2364 5120 6002 has beenapproved and upgraded in your favor.The ATM Visa Card is Valued at $7.6M you are advised to contact the ATM/Computer Department.Respond immediately with the under listed information’s for clarity and further direction on how to receive your ATM visa card and avoidance of error :FULL NAME, ADDRESS, PHONE NUMBERS, STATE/COUNTRY, OCCUPATION, SEX,AGE,Prompt response recommended for immediate attention.Regards,Mr. Mike Ibru.The Oceanic Bank Plc

Ahora también puedes acceder a tu correo Terra desde el móvil.
Infórmate pinchando aquí. <[Link removed]>

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May 25 2009
Lost in Translation

Beloved Ones

I too “quickly call up a pastor/prophet to give me positive thinking on this solution” and she said “I see a great financial loss in your future, beginning with the $200 you owe me for telling you that you are an idiot!”

Subject: Dear Beloved-One,
From: “Carol Evans Mulla”
Date: Thu, May 21, 2009 5:45 am
To: 

Dear Beloved-One,
 
My name is Carol Evans Mulla am 75yrs old of age, I stay in Queen Elizabeth Hospital NHS Trust Stadium Road Woolwich London SE18 4QH.I am a good merchant, I have several industrial companies and good share in various banks in the world. I spend all my life on investment and co-operate business both is Asia, Europe and America here. All the way I lost my husband and two beautiful children in Plane Crash.
 
I am a very good woman with all cost I don’t know much and care about people, since when I had an experience of my difficulty to sleep and give rest. Ending of last year (September) I was sent a letter of medical check up, as my personal doctor testify that I have a lung cancer, which can easily take off my life soon. I found it uneasy to survive myself, because a lot of my investment can not be run and manage by me again. I quickly call up a pastor/prophet to give me positive thinking on this solution, as my adviser. He ministered to me to share my properties, wealth, to motherless baby/orphanage homes people that need money for survivor, business woman and man for their investment and for future rising.
 
Therefore I am writing this letter to people who are really need of help to contact me urgently. So that I can make available preparation on that. Especially women of the day, who are divorced by their husband, why they cannot survive from feeding their self. Please contact me and stop weeping. Probably let me know what you really need the money for, and if you can still help me to money to nearest orphanages homes near your town. Now am so much with God, am now born again.
 
May the lord bless you, as you reach me, please to remind you don’t belong to scammers or any act of fraudulent act on internet? I will give more information to you as I await your response immediately.
 
Thanks
Carol Evans Mulla

[Submitted by Lauree M]

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May 23 2009
Lost in Translation

Not a Drug Money

What do you mean I am under arrest, she gave me a certificate guaranteeing it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack?

Greeting !!!

This is to bring to your notice that a bank draft of $1,000,000.00 United States Dollars,have been issued in your favour by the World Bank from a random computer e-mail search. I Mrs. Jenny Brown , a worker in the World Bank have deposited the draft with (UPS EXPRESS, NIGERIA), after many e-mails to you which you have not replied.I have travelled out of Nigeria now, I do hope that you will receive this mail and act fast.What you have to do now is to contact the UPS EXPRESS, NIGERIA as soon as possible to know when they will deliver the package to you because of the expiring date. For your information,I have paid for the delivering Charge,Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the Cheque showing that it is not a Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country.You are advice to contact the courier services immediately Again, I would have paid for the Security Keeping fee but they refused because they said they don’t know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.

You have to contact the UPS EXPRESS, NIGERIA now for the delivery of your Bank Draft valued at $1,000,000.00 United States Dollars with this information, All you have to do is contact or furnish UPS EXPRESS NIGERIA with your identification for verification of the details there in their office. Send them the following details with their email there as emailing me back will be impossible.

Names in full

Residential Address….

Country…..

Telephone number,….

Contact Person: Mr. Noyin Efe

Email Address : ups.service.ng@[Domain Removed].com

Telephone Number : +234-806-6[Number Removed]

Contact Mr. Noyin Efe there and know when the Draft will get to your address,Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of $999.00 US Dollars Only for their immediate action.You should also let me know through email as soon as you receive your Draft.

Yours Faithfully,

Mrs. Jenny Brown.

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May 17 2009
Lost in Translation

Toyota Hits Hard Times

It looks like Toyota is so bad off they can’t even hire an editor for their email offers. Now let me see if I can find my Annexation receipts.

Dear Mr/Ms.

Prius Hybrid OFFERS!

Toyota announced today that global cumulative sales of Toyota hybrid vehicles have topped the one million mark, with approximately 1,047,000 units sold worldwide as of 31 May 2007. 
Due to the recent global financial crises, Toyota stuck in stock with 1200 Prius HYBRID cars, because in this stock are cars unsold for over 6 months, TOYOTA launch the Advantage Program where is 30% discount for 1200 Prius HYBRID cars.

The Advantage Program have 5 steps, the first one it is the application form to accept your request.
The second step: An agreement between seller & buyer.
The third step: After the agreement, the buyer need to deposit $5,000 to TOYOTA Dealer Bank Account, necessary for delivery, completion all documents, and submission of a balance of $2,500.
The fourth step: Annexation receipts of the two parties (Buyer: proof payment & Seller: receipt of payment), and completion all contractual documents.
The fifth step : Delivery & buyer signature of delivery.

We offer you the opportunity to purchase a very good Auto with 30% discount.
The payment shall be made in installments through the bank at 1 month after signing the contract. 
If you are interested in this offer please fill out the application contact form, A representative will contact you about this vehicle within five business day if your application will be approve. 

Application Contact Form:

Fullname: ………………………
Billing Address: ………………………
Mobile Phone Number: …………………..
E-mail: ………………….
Your Age: ….

The application contact form will be sent to: [Very Realistic Email Address Removed]

Best Regards,
TOYOTA ASSISTANCE
Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.
19001 South Western Ave.
Dept. WC11
Torrance, CA 90501

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Apr 27 2009
Lost in Translation

PayPal needs a grammar check.

If you ever get a email message like this, remember to hover over the link before clicking it and make sure it goes to www.paypal.com. This one did not. Although the wonderful grammar should have been a tip off, that this was not legitimate. For more safety tips on how to protect your self at PayPal, please visit the PayPal Safety Center.

Dear PayPal Valued Member,    

Have Noticed That Your PayPal Account Needs To Be Updated, because we have made a new updates on our online service and we lost some information of our customer online Paypal accounts, we are sorry for that but you should update your Paypal accountIn accordance with PayPal’s User Agreement and Privacy Policy, and to ensure that your account has not been compromised yet, access to your account was limited.
Your account access will remains limited until this issue has been resolved.

To secure your account and quickly restore full access on your account, we encourage you to log in and perform the steps necessary to restore your account access as soon as possible by clicking the link below:
Please click here to update your account access
Failure to verify and/or update your personal records, or if you choose to ignore our request, may result in further limitations or eventual account closure.   

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter. Please understand that this case intended to help protecting you and your account.
We apologize for any inconvenience. 

Sincerely,

PayPal, Inc.
P.O. Box 45950 
Omaha, NE 68145
Copyright © 2007 PayPal Inc. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners. PayPal is located at 2211 N. First St., San Jose, CA 95131.
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Apr 05 2009
Lost in Translation

A Classic Benin Transaction

While this is a classic Phishing email, trying to get your contact information and maybe even you money, it tries several different approached. Greed, religion and the classic “third-party verification”. One of the best lines is “helping me over the transaction in the past despite it came to fail us.”

My Dear,

I am hereby to inform you that i have been able to complete up with the transaction we had in the past regarding to the sum of $6,000,000.00usd which was supposed to be transferred into your account,though it came to fail us somehow because you were unable to meet up with the requirement of the bank.

Therefore, i am very happy to inform you that i have been able to complete up the transaction with the aid of a business counterpart in person of Mr.Harrison T.Douglas from united states.And i am presently, in japan for an investment project with my own part of the fund which was supposed to be transferred into your account.

I must also confess to you that i appreciates all your efforts and endeavours in helping me over the transaction in the past despite it came to fail us.So be informed that i have been able to map out the sum of six hundred united states dollars for your kind help and assistance to me in getting the fund transferred into your account in the past.

Now, all you need to do is to try as much as possible and correspond with my personal assistance right there in benin republic in person of Mr.Ben Worlker on his email bellow: ( sdy.max44@[Removed].com ) ask him to send to you the certified international bank draft worth the sum of $600,000.00usd which i had written and signed in your name before i left for the investment project in japan.

You should also endeavour to get me informed as soon as the bank draft is been sent to you so that i will be aware that it has gotten to you without any hitch ok.You can as well contact him via his private phone number if there is any where you are confused and would like to ask him question:+229-####-#397.

Kindly reconfirm to him your informations as stated bellow to enable him deposit your bank draft with any of the courier service company over there in benin republic that will handle the delivery to your destination without any problem.

(i) Name and address
(ii) Current contact phone

Thanks and remain blessed and may the almighty God continue to guide and protect you and your family in jesus mighty name i pray…..amen.

Best Regards
Dr.Efi Chioma

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Apr 01 2009
Lost in Translation

Puppy Love

I guess surfing the “email surfing marketing company with US chamber of commerce” is more efficient that posting this on Craigslist.

Hello,

My name is Tonya Ramirez I got your e-mail address from an email surfing marketing company with US chamber of commerce. My late Grandma was a puppy breeder, she died about 6 month ago and she left 2 Female English Bulldog and 1 Male English Bulldog before she pass a way. One of the female Bulldog Puppy recently give birth to 2 litters puppies, they are so adorable….but due to my work as a Nurse, my job does not permit me to take proper care of these little puppies, I love to take care of them myself but due to the nature of my job i does hardly have time for my self, So i decide to look for someone, who is caring and lovingly parent who will take good care of them and will to adopt them from me, If you are interested in having one of them, Please contact me as soon as possible for more details and information about adopting them. Looking forward to your prompt e-mail again.

Thanks.
Tonya

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Mar 05 2009
Hook, Line and..., Lost in Translation

Monkeys in a room

Wow, they are waiting to hear from me? 
That last paragraph is great also. It is a technique used to make the message look legit to spam filters.

From:p2yRe_197D8eXKx@[Domain Removed]

Subject: Give me a ring

Date: March 4, 2009 11:23:26 AM PST

May l have a few mlnutes of your tlme please. We are looklng for lndlvlduals who wlsh to stay home and return some telephone calls for the company to people waltlng to hear from you. lts slmple and starlghtforward. All l ask ls you call the 24hr lnfo llne for the detalls. Thanks
888.###.####
    
The turkey for the tuba player operates a small fruit stand with the slow plaintiff. When a bowling ball ceases to exist, a snooty asteroid beams with joy. Any chess board can derive perverse satisfaction from a secretly federal submarine, but it takes a real formless void to find lice on an almost frozen power drill. Indeed, an elusive wedding dress plans an escape from a line dancer the diskette. Furthermore, a righteous sheriff rejoices, and the mean-spirited fraction barely recognizes a grand piano.
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Mar 03 2009
Lost in Translation

You “Founded” The Wrong Chick

 Ok so I’m nice but seriously you want me to MAIL A STOVE? Just say, ” I’m going to throw a pricey lie at you and instead of thinking about the lie I want you to throw money at me” 
FYI Elena Winters already here 
Blaire. 
America. 

hi

Elena to elenag – March 2 2009 

From: Elena <########.ru> 

To: elenag@########.ru

Hi,

My name is Elena, I am 31 year and I live in Russian province. I work in library and I use computer after work when it possible.
I finded your address in internet and I decided to write you this letter.

I have 7-year daughter Angelina, her father abandoned us and we live with my
mother.

Due to the financial crisis in our country my mother lost job and our situation became very difficult.

The prices for gas is very high in our region and we cannot use it to heat our home anymore.

The winter is coming and weather become colder each day. We worry if the temperature will below 0 degrees in our home, we will not be able to survive.

For heating our home during winter we need portable stove which give heat from
burning wood. We have many wood in our region, but we cannot buy the
stove in local market because it cost equivalent of 248 US dollars and very
expensive for us.
If you have any old portable stove and you don’t use it anymore, we will be very
happy if you can donate it to us and organize transport of its to our address.
This ovens are different, they made from cast iron and weight about 100kg.

I downloaded our picture to free website and you can see it at:
http://############/ourpicture.jpg
It is not of very good quality, but it will give you idea how we look.

I pray for your help.

Elena.
Russia.

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